do you know what it's like to be touched by a man who conquers?

It was something I wasn't ready for, didn't quite see coming. Something I hadn't known would change the way I viewed the world. I was so sure a sensual woman like me was fully versed in the ways of desire, intimacy, passion, but God had he shown me different. He'd revealed my truth. What you know, he seemed to say, are the teachings of a child. A girl who writes of love poems and dewy-eyed encounters with boys who love tracing the gentle curves of your body but never know how to break them. A girl flirting her passion and sensuality in bits and pieces to boys who drool over the concept of a woman simply willing to shed clothes. A girl, he'd laughed, who thinks these feebleminded boys I have bested have taught you something about sex.

You are green, he'd breathed with an air of desire, his fists clenched. Unclaimed, unconquered, waiting to be collected. You know nothing of men like me. Animals. Beasts. Wolves. Men who conquer all they touch. But you will, you'd said snaking your hand around my throat. Tonight you will learn the lessons. Tonight I will break every former trace of the foolish girl you were before and tonight I will introduce you to the woman you will be forever more.

And he had

I couldn't keep my mind from straying back toward him
and how somehow I kept craving his fingers in my mouth
and how I was mesmerized by his entitlement
his entitlement to my mind
his entitlement to my body
his entitlement to my soul

he wanted my entire being 
to be consumer by him
possessed by him
his fingers down my throat
his grip leaving bruises
you will breathe only me, he'd said
until I tell you different
air given with his permission

how he'd had no hesitancy
no reservations on marking me as his
for twenty minutes, three hours, four years
however long he saw fit
this is mine, he'd said
you are mine for as long as I want
right now I don't care about the boy you used to love
I don't care about the guy you want to be your boyfriend
let him think you're at home waiting for him
because I will make sure 
the next time he touches you
he sees my mark

he will understand 
that you have been transformed
broken at the wheel
let him make love to you as boys do
he will see how your body
no longer craves his innocent touch
but something feral
he will not understand 
why you no longer fall at his feet
his eyebrow will furrow 
when you no longer come undone at his hand
and he will realize
as all men do
as all men know
that he may have claimed you
but I have conquered you

do you understand? his body said
I am your undoing
I am the wild you have so desperately been
seeking to build in every broken man you've
attempted to stitch back together
do you understand? he spoke
I will not stop until I have released
every drop of passion that has
built up together in my desire for you
I am not your 'daddy', I am your beast
and you will obey

you will bow on bent knees and
worship the animal above you
before he becomes the animal inside you
who then releases the animal within you

I am your undoing
you are no longer the girl who chases after boys
you have become the woman who runs with wolves

              - now open your mouth so I may welcome you home

z.








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